Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
