if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She said her name was "party"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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