kristin has been a bad kristin
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
