I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize