So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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