fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I forget how to act sober
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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