btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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