I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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