Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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