I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Found your dick twin last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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