Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How external is "for external use only"?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You are the jesus of drinking
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize