I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
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So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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