Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
