Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
