im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize