I'm drive I can fine osifer
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
