he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
