My room smells like vodka and shame
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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