so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
