Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
