Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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