I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
