just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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