Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
