are you still at the devil's house?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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