paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
