I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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