im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
