well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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