Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
