Moan for me like Helen Keller
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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