How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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