She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Welp...herpes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
