Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
