so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
