What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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