Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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