Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
