It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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