We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
