the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
