using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You can't special order awesome
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I believe in your delicious
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