Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
