I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
