just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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