the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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