she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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