If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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