How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
