Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
