Banned from zoo.
Again?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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