we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
