i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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