Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
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The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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