I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
