I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize