and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
